Nivrtti

Rukhi aidiyoon main ab bas rahi hai duniya,

Aankhein jee rahi hain, roz ek naya qissa.

Naye log, naye hai ehsaas,

Jeevan jeene ka yeh nav-abhaas

Drishy jo kitni bar-dekh, bhi andekhein the,

Saamay ki ankahi dhool main, dafne the,

Muskaan ki jhurriyoon main aaj ubhar rahe hain.

Meri gheri, pehli, swach swaas.

Nivritt, here, implies freedom from responsibility, retirement.

 

BANDISH

Ek bewafaai aur mili tumhari jeb se,
Siahi ke nishaan, ek muchade hue bill pe.
Kuch der sambhale rakha unhe,
Maine apne mathe ki shikan pe.
Befikr nazar churai tumne,
Main bhi muskura di,
Tumhare lateefe ki ot main,
Din ka varnan, awaaz main hasee aur ulass.
Chaha tumse pooch hi lu aaj,
Laboon tak laakar, rukh gayi kitni baar.
Goonj us sawaal ki,
Shanka mere mann Ki
Kitne kadam door ho tum, es dayere paar
Us siahi ko toh baha diya maine,
Katra katra kar, jeeni hogi, ab yeh daraar.

Kaal

You know its been a great weekend, when on a Monday, you pull out the scribbling on the back of an industry report, to update a long forgotten blog. An inspired moment, unedited, a first in hindi for me.

Kaal

Is shor main jo ulajhta ja raha hoon,

Apne mann ke dhagaon ko-bun,

Kabhi udhaidta ja raha hoon

Zindagi ke pal jo beet ja rahe hain

Unhe samait,

Sulajhta ja raha hoon.

Seekh raha hoon,

Sambhal raha hoon.

Apni ki hui galtiyoon pe kabhi itra,

Kabhi sukhoon bhi pa raha hoon.

Mudh ke dekhna, galat nahi.

Aage jo hai, uske beetne pe,

Apne kal ki udharana pata ja raha hoon.

Meri lakiroon main, meri gaatha nahi.

Khud ki jeevani, main likhta aa raha hoon,

Guroor ya abhimaan hai,

Vidhata ki kuch dain bhi.

Karamoon ke upkaar,

Aage apne soch ke buland iraadon pe chaltein ja raha hoon.

World of Perceptions

“Staring into the water.
Reflections of self-image.
Rippled by another’ s finger.
Hold on a little longer,
And look yourself in the eye.!” – Dilpreeta

On Happiness

“Live your love. You’ll love life!” – Dilpreeta

What I learnt from Stephen King ‘On Writing’

Your life experiences shape what you write. Gather more. Reach out, within. Then expand the experience to imagination.     Find your nook; your go to place, for reading and writing. Nothing ostentatious. Nothing distracting. A place which allows your mind to travel to a state of hypnosis.     Reading is a non-negotiable.     Write each day, every day.     “It ain’t how much you’ve got, honey, it’s how you use it!” Use words that come naturally.   Keep your sentences simple. Put your reader, first.  Be understood. Back to basics. Go back to your school books on grammar. Use active voice over passive voice. The meeting will be held at 1900 hrs: Passive. The meeting is at 1900 hrs:Active The road to hell is paved with adverbs. “You’ve got a good butt” she said cheekily. Swifties. They are such fun. Noun + verb = sentence. Example Dilpreeta writes. – Plums deify! “Your job isn’t to find these ideas but to recognize them when they show up.” Ideas and stories are everywhere. There is no method to the madness and there isn’t a training that suffices. Substance abuse DOES NOT make you any more creative than you already are.

Each writer has idiosyncrasies. Find your style.

 

When browsing a book, check for; style of writing, use of paragraphs, sentence construction, spacing and you will know what you are setting yourself up for.

 

What you read is the style of writing you imbibe. You will begin writing what you love to read.

 

Honesty is indispensable. Don’t write to please.

“If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered.”

 

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s”

 Good descriptions begin with clear seeing and end with clear writing. Writing that employs fresh images and simple vocabulary.

 

Get the description right. Not too long, not too short. Not prescriptive, not ambiguous. It should aid the imagination of the reader in his or her own unique way.

“Symbolism exists to adorn and enrich, not to create an artificial sense of profundity”

Dialogues is a skill set best learned by people who enjoy talking and listening to others-particularly listening, picking -up the accents, dialects, rhythm, and slangs of various groups.

 Every character you create, when writing, is partly you. 

  Best stories are character-driven. They are about people and not events. 

 

Don’t work with an end in mind, let the characters evolve, the story will flow. Enjoy the journey.

 

Boredom can be a very good thing for someone in a creative jam.

 

Research enough to tell a back story not build a manual. Complement facts with imagination.

 

Share your writing only when it is reasonably reader-friendly

 

“You cannot hope to sweep someone else away by the force of your writing until it has been done to you”

You can’t please all of the readers all of the time; you can’t please even some of the readers all of the time, but you really ought to try to please at least some of the readers some of the times.

Writings are like letters aimed at one person. That one person, is the writer’s ideal reader, the one for whom she writes.

 

Track those rejections. Acceptances will follow.

“Optimism is a perfectly legitimate response to failure”

“Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open”

 

Learn from all the critiques and comments you get. 

When revising for pacing, just leave out the boring parts

 

 

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings”

After writing the first draft, let it rest for a while, quite a while, until it feels like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. It is always easier to kill someone else’s darling than it is to kill your own. Now reduce the second draft by 10%.

 

 

…and these weird people are needy!

 

On Motivation- write because its fulfilling. “The act of writing has been a little act of faith, a spit in the eye of despair.” “Writing is not life, but I think that sometimes it can be a way back to life.”

 

Finally, the scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.

 

Birthday’s are always special. They bring you treats and treasures. Thank you, Shabani, for “On Writing” and for the note in it.

Light

Heavy head,

Heavy heart.

Eyes wide open,

Before the crack of dawn.

Flashes intermittent, with blankness.

Stillness on face.

Silence in person,

Chaos within.

Time ticks,

Time paces.

Self, a basic instinct.

Boundaries blur,

Walls emerge.

Impregnable future,

Fragile past.

Getting ahead?

With open eyes,

At the crack of dawn.

Marketing the Brand – "You"

Anecdotes, make for valuable lessons. People who share their life stories mentor us fortuitously. It is over one such conversation I was told that, in personal and professional life you always get what you negotiate for, not what you deserve. Well, the original thought was Chester L Karrass’  “In business as in life, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.” However, what made it meaningful, was the narrative that followed. Needless to say, I had been subject to deft demonstration of negotiating capabilities.

On my drive back, I thought to myself that great negotiators would be rather capable in the craft of persuasion. A skill, I assume, we all would love to bargain in favor of.

Persuade means:

to prevail on (a person) to do something, as by advising or urging:

to induce to believe by appealing to reason or understanding; convince:

Thesaurus, can be quite a tool for learning. I don’t mean it from a “replace with a tougher word” perspective, alone. Look up, persuasive. Dwell on and internalize each of these synonyms.

Influential | Effective | Alluring | Cogent | Compelling | Conclusive | Convincing | Credible | Eloquent | Energetic | Forceful | Impressive | Inspiring | Logical | Plausible | Potent | Powerful | Valid | Seductive | Smooth| Actuating | Convective | Effectual | Efficacious | Forcible | Impelling | Stimulating | Moving | Inducing | Strong | Winning

Three thought bubbles popped in my head. First, how the often cited mechanisms of being persuasiveness were really not tactics, but aspects. Second, how advertising and politics had thrived on this expertise. Lastly, individuals are brands that need marketing.

Juxtapose the exploits of marketing and the aspects above, and the result is how  the brand “You”, can get people to do things that are in their own best interest, that also benefits you.

Be Purposeful:

• Self-Awareness: Understand your power and use it sparingly and knowingly. Refrain from brand dilution.
• Argue and advocate less often. If you don’t stand up for something you will fall for everything.
• See the larger picture, win the war: be willing to sacrifice

Listen, actively

• Articulating your stance is just the half way mark. Know the other side of the argument. Dialogue over monologue
• Assess how receptive people are to your idea. Build audience insights.
• What are and potentially can be their objections. Know your customer. Know your competition.
• What could be their moments of agreement. Know their BATNA (Best Alternate to negotiated agreement). Why would they switch?

Connect, Localize & Personalize

• Establish a common ground- an emotional bond. Uncover similarities
• Be likeable | Influence the subconscious | Empathize 
• Have a sense of humor
• Compliment- genuinely: Charm and disarm- “Because you are worth it”
• Example: by body language, mirroring, interests, life events, political views, social beliefs. This is used very well in the direct selling model like Tupperware

Acknowledge Credibility:

• Don’t argue facts. Don’t live in your world- get out there.
• Everyone is entitled to an opinion, make peace with it. Run research but remember it’s not sacrosanct.
• World is grey. Don’t be dismissive. Competition is everywhere. Create an opportunity. Create a need.

Shut up

• Don’t constantly berate people with verbal barrage. You are never big enough
• Step back. Look within. Look without.
• Whenever you ask a closing question, shut up. The first person who speaks, loses.”
• Give space and time for your idea to be absorbed and take root. Don’t give up.

Persuade the persuadable

• Identify the low hanging fruit. People that at a given time are persuadable to your point of view and focus your energy and attention on them.  Fine tune the Target Audience. Example: Identifying vote bank during elections
• Everyone can be persuaded, given the right timing and context, but not necessarily in the short term. Diffusion of innovation-Early adopter>early majority> late majority>laggards

Lend a context

• It creates a standard for what is acceptable. 
• Lend it a situation.
• Stanford prisoner experiment demonstrates the power of authority and situational attribution of behavior over dis-positional behavior

Time it

• Wishes and wants are a function of time. Example you want a hatchback when riding a bike and then a sedan when driving a hatchback
• Be an opportunist: Thank then ask. Example: Upgrades, Cross Sell.
• Spot the mood: Examples Festivals, Cricket, Budget

Inculcate the interest

• Keep the channels of communication open. You can’t persuade someone who is not willing to be persuaded. Find the window.
• Seduce | Bewitch | Charm | Serenade

Reciprocate:

• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
• Invest. Create leverage

Be Logical

• Use rationale, facts and figures. 
• Power of asking questions
• “You cannot reason people out of a position that they did not reason themselves into.

Be Consistent

• Build predictability. Build Credibility

Be persistent:

• Winners don’t quit. Quitters don’t win. Example: Abraham Lincoln.

Set expectations:

• Don’t over-commit. Example Warranty, Guarantee, SLA

Don’t assume:

• Don’t judge. Don’t be biased. Example: Leapfrogging
• Give yourself and them a fair chance and choice

Create scarcity:

• It’s in the mind.
• Take back approach: your offering and yourself.
• Say no, to get a yes.
• Lost opportunity
• Example: Value based pricing. By invitation only, Exclusivity

Create Urgency:

• Not desperation.
• Establish value of time, opportunity cost.
• Motivation to act in present

Lend a visual:

• Choose the location
• Tell a story. Make it vivid with emotions. Pain or pleasure.
• Seed imagination
• Example: Movies. Bollywood!

Show the mirror

• Tell them the truth.
• Call a spade a spade.
• Example: Satyamev Jayate, Jaago Re, Before and After (Weight loss)

Be Flexible

• Flexibility not power lends control
• Example: Children. Pester power. They are willing to do anything to persuade- howl, charm, bargain, plead!

Bring good energy

• Motivate & Invigorate
• Heightened appeal to senses: touch, sight, emotion, speech

Observe:

• The practicing artists & scientists of persuasions: Competitions. Learns from the successful and those who failed.

Be Prepared

• Know your subject ( pun intended)

Conflict management

• Be calm, detached and unemotional
• Evoke trust
• Example: Feedback, Customer Satisfaction

Transparency

• Build the trust and faith
• Accept limitations

Use anger purposefully

• Sparingly.
• Not emotionally or due to lack of self-control
• Put your foot down

Believe

• Be confident. Be certain.

Start:

• Begin a job and seek help. Its leading by example.
• Example: Very handy for chores at home. Get your partner to help.

Over ask to compromise

• It’s difficult to refuse, consistently. What more, there is a sense of relief in giving in to a lesser ask/evil.
• Children do this rather well. Can we at least go play?

Be Inclusive:

• Use we. Have skin in the game.

Find Testimonials

• Showcase adoption by others. Their point of view.
• Seek recommendation. LinkedIn
• Example: News- quotes , Research: Paper citation

From “Marketing the Brand- You” to “Brands Marketing to You” The story telling will continue…

Black

White is all colors

Yet

We call it pure

Black is absence of color

Yet

We call it impure

White reflects everything,

An impenetrable chill.

Black absorbs everything,

An inclusive warmth.

White is blinding

Black is blind

White is marriage

Yet

White is death

Black is protection

Yet

Black is death

Transition from life is peace

Peace is white

Yet

Rituals are black

Transition in life is chaotic

Chaotic is black

Yet

Ceremonies are white

Coal hardened to diamond

Black seasoned to white

Black is the reason for light

Black is the soul of white

Shouldn’t white be black?

Unboxing Indian languages

My tryst with languages has been that of, love-hate. Education, across a string of schools and cities throws at you challenges, of what some might recall, as 2nd and 3rd languages. Compulsory languages, that you had to cross the mark on, to make it to the next grade. I had my encounters with Hindi, Bengali, Gurmukhi, Sanskrit and acquainted myself with French and Urdu. Thankfully, English was the marathon friend.

When it came to taking a second language, for boards, the hoity-toity had, French. As much as, the bourgeois bug appealed to me, I had to resign to Hindi “A”. Then, I had kicked myself for not having scored lesser, so that I could have been assigned to the batch of Hindi “B”. The scholarly subscribed to Sanskrit- oh boy, for that cramming! I have a fundamental disconnect with the whole, memorizing without understanding, school of education, but addressing that would merit an entire post. Honestly, I would have opted for neither French, nor Sanskrit, or the long tail German, Russian, and more. It’s the lack of choices, which sets you off on the “what if” mode. Sometimes, no option is not such a bad option, after all. It makes life simple.

In my brushes with Bengali and Gurmukhi, I learnt to read and write them. Speaking was another league, a preposterous one. Cat got my tongue, voice box would collapse, heart beat and swimming head competed to win the dash, eyes shied away from contact. It remains, a different league.

The task at hand, then, was to prepare sufficiently enough to decode the examination. Put a bunch of symbols together to, string essays, long answers, stories, letters to score 40 or 44/100. Modus operandi – out of the examination hall, out of mind. Admittedly, it was an art. An art of, shallow learning. On the brighter side, your formative years expose you to endless abilities, most of which you are not aware of and look back at, with bewilderment. As we mature we give in to self-doubt. Self-doubt, that stems from a constant monologue in our head telling us “now we know better- we were kids then-boundless” Interestingly, that ability to do unthinkable things is easy to replicate. Look at what one was a couple of years back, and the same feeling takes over-how did I do it then?

Little flair for languages has been a challenge, but am not willing to throw away presents from my past. Rekindling the literature which seems blurred and far.

Despite, English acing the list, there is always room for improvement. Improvement, which translates not into a bigger better basket of words, but a creative use of it. Romancing the language.

India is a land of abundant knowledge. The diversity we read about in our civics textbooks manifests in each family teaching children English, Hindi and a native language. Well, the idea is to neither generalize the first two nor their order but to state that on an average an educated Indian is conversant with three languages. Impressive.

In my case, am not too pleased that despite being of Sikh origin my first rendezvous with Gurmukhi was not until 8th grade, for a brief 4 months. Clearly, I could do away with it being so foggy. Read and understand the vaakh at gurudwara sahib without squirming. Shed the inhibition to speak, get the inflections, intonation and pronunciation right.

Hindi, is a different story all together. Somewhere the colonial hangover left Hindi with drooping shoulders, robbing us of pride in our own literature. Sound education, intelligence, sophistication were and if I may add, are the reserves of the English speaking. Hypocritical and biased. Hindi to me is hypnotic. Casual conversation with locals outside of the metro cities, profound deliveries by theater actors, riveting expressions of orators, storytelling by poets and writers has enticed me into rediscovering Hindi. Rediscovering Hindi is like rediscovering yourself, re-connecting, grounding, dusting off the bells and whistles. Speaking more of Hindi makes me feel warmer and connect better. Some expressions just cannot be translated, they are priceless as originals. True for all languages. Often we think in one language, translate that thought into writing or speech of another. I want to learn to think in the language.

Bengali’s are easy to spot. Perhaps a function of their accent, cliquishness, love for travel, cultural nuances, amongst many others. Revival of my dexterity in Bengali can go a long way in deciphering conversations my friends and colleagues indulge in – my field of marketing and advertising is besieged with the fraternity. More importantly, bond with the domestic help. Most importantly, it is a low hanging fruit when it comes to a language I have learnt to read and write in the past.

Sanksrit, is highbrow. It is a root language and to be able to do justice one must not be of fleeting interest, lend depth. Admittedly, I don’t fit the bill.

Indian languages are too inviting and have caught my fancy. The relationship began with the inescapable syllabus but has mushroomed into a promising canvass of understanding and connecting better with people. High on my wish list is Gujarati, Urdu and finally one international language, Spanish

While I get more conversant with English and Hindi, renew my familiarity with Gurmukhi and Bengali, explore Gujarati, Urdu and Spanish am cognizant that there are only so many languages I can unbox. The truest and most compelling are, unspoken languages- that of dance, music, emotions, art, sports and more. They germinate from our mind, body and soul! Universal.

Summarizing with Quotes

A tribute to my 3rd languages across schools:

“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.”

“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”‒Sarah Caldwell

Thinking in a language: being a purist

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”- George Orwell

As food for thought

“Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.” ‒Oliver Wendell Holmes

“The limits of my language means the limits of my world.” – Ludwig Wittgenstein

On native language

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” – Nelson Mandela

On Hindi losing appeal

“Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.”‒Rita Mae Brown

On my inhibition to speak another language

“Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language.”–H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“…the only normal way to begin speaking in a new language is to begin speaking badly!!”

On learning multiple languages

“Those who know many languages live as many lives as the languages they know.” – Czech proverb

“To have another language is to possess a second soul.” – Charlemagne

Universal languages

“I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned.”

“Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth”-Margaret Atwood

“silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.”Rumi