My Plate of Joy

The year 2020, akin to other years, began with some retrospection and some goals. I enjoy the process immensely. When looking back at the year gone-by I recount my happy moments. My endeavor then is to do more of those things that made me feel good. It is a powerful exercise and I strongly recommend trying it. In business parlance, it helps with prioritization, but to me it helps me live my life in a fuller way. It empowers me to be, more me.  Anchor dates like New Year or Birthdays just make for easier check points and help inculcate this as a habit.

Yes, I do write goals. My goals mostly centre around learning. Why, learning? Because it gives me joy. Something I have arrived at and owe to my annual retrospection. The joy of satiating my curiosity, of new experiences, the unexplored, of overcoming inhibitions, of feeling better equipped and most importantly progressing as per my own yardstick.

This year, amongst other goals, I set myself up to cook a new recipe every week. That is 53 unique dishes. No, I have no prior love for the kitchen. In fact, am seldom required to do much in that space except ensure availability of raw materials and think of what should comprise the next meal. Whatever little cooking I had indulged-in, in the past was using intuition and turned out bearable. The situation did not turn on its head even with the lockdown-moms are great cooks!

There is a brighter side to even the grimmest situations like COVID 19. By 30th April 2020, 36 days into the lockdown, I was at 60 unique dishes. I met my goal and it does deserve a celebratory mention but that is not why I write this. I write this to share my learnings, my joy and my journey.

Cooking is creative, it’s about experimenting, being spontaneous, improvising, being intuitive. Am not sure I can replicate a dish because I rarely follow a recipe. I do look them up to get an idea, though. Top it with the excitement and uncertainty of how it will turn out and it is pure dopamine.

Am a person who loves breadth in things. The plethora of cuisines and umpteen variations to a dish, gives me so many options to work with. At present, am especially drawn to the cuisines of India and understandably so. Indian cuisine is bursting with richness, spices, aroma, bold flavours, history and culture.

A recipe is more than a set of instructions. Food is such a large part of our culture and is teeming with stories. I enjoy exploring these back stories. Why we eat what we eat? If that stokes you, I recommend watching Raja Rasoi aur Anya Kahaniyaan. Amongst the chefs, and I have very limited knowledge of them, I find watching Chef Ranveer Brar’s recipes informative.

Speaking of culture, am so happy to be at my mum’s place. There is no better place to learn or person to learn from. One of her lessons to me, when I was a little girl, was to always clean alongside and never leave a mess, it has stuck like superglue.

Not to forget, I have my captive test subjects.  We eat as a family, enjoy our countless meals, chat and look forward to our favorites being cooked. How is that for instant gratification. Cooking is an act of love, reciprocated by full stomachs and satisfied faces. Its food for the soul. It is rewarding.

No two cooks in my opinion are identical, they lend their touch, they leave a signature. Not necessarily discernible but there. Cooking is personal. To me its absorbing too. I don’t really need music in the background, though I do play some at times. When I do, I have observed a proclivity for shabads. Working with all those colours and aromas in the kitchen is relaxing. Perhaps that explains my love for mandis and chopping too.

Practice makes one perfect and cooking is just that. Perhaps that’s why cooks get better with age, develop their hacks and grandma’s love with her practical experience makes for best chefs. I have realised that I am intrigued by the technical, the chemistry of cooking, the why’s. If I understand these fundamentals, I should be able to apply that knowledge to any dish. As of now I have chanced upon such content in nuggets but nothing structured. Should you know of a resource, please do share. Maybe a content creator can take a cue from this.

I am a lone operator; this maybe so because sometimes even I don’t know what I am doing or maybe because someone may disrupt my cherished moment of ambiguity either way a crowded kitchen is not my space. I consider 2 a crowd. Am yet to develop muscle memory in the kitchen until then I prefer to focus.

First-hand experience on behind the scenes has made me mindful in some ways. I choose healthier options both when preparing and eating. I bust some myths around my favourite dishes. I thought they were harmless green veggies, now I know what it takes to make those crispy Karelas. So lesser of baking, frying and other sinful cooking for me.  I am more conscious of wastage now- ever tried a watermelon ki sabzi-it is delicious. Making my masalas from the scratch is an olfactory delight and   is worth it in every other way. Finally, I respect my food more. I spend more time savouring it. I respect what has gone behind the cook. I pay more attention; I appreciate it more.

I want to leave you with an idea or maybe two. Prepare a dish as a present next time. Not only is it wonderful in so many ways it far outdoes an off-the-counter wine. Rekindle the tradition of sending your neighbour what you cooked and remember you never return an empty dish. I have my neighbour to thank for putting me back onto it.

To wrap it all- I have acquired a life skill, I shall survive. Some punjabi families might contest this since I am yet to make a stuffed parantha. Also, am sorry I don’t have any pictures to share, and that this has to be so bland. Not only was I too busy enjoying myself, I never thought I would be putting together a write up on it.

In a nutshell: I don’t know how good I am at cooking but I know that I am better at it than before.

When Brands Fail to Mind their Language

I begin with stating the obvious – we are natives of globalization. The why’s of brands investing in internationalization and consequent localization is staid knowledge. This draws attention to the growing intensity of cross-cultural marketing. Language, is one amongst many yet, a critical variable in the success of such marketing campaigns.

However, there have been epic fails by some of the leading brands in what may seem like a simple exercise of translating taglines and slogans in international markets. This compilation of brand failures to mind their language is a fun and light read, but one with some takeaways nonetheless.

First, these examples serve as hyperbole to illustrate my point, that we are very capable of and do miss the nose on our face. As a brand custodian and communication expert, we need to be alive to these obvious things to do, not in theory alone but in practice. A mindful practice. I use an incremental approach of beginning with a few guiding principles that govern every communication, until they become a part of the DNA, then add more. It is a habit-forming technique, what is your approach?

Second, every marketer in India is a regional marketer, by default. This is yet another obvious, that hides in plain sight. We have 22 official languages, not to mention the diversity in culture, values, traditions, slangs, norms, humour, gestures, phonetics.

Third, cross cultural marketing is not the reserve of those who conceptualize global marketing campaigns from corporate offices, or those who land them in a local-markets alone. It is the reserve of all marketers irrespective, whether they are entrusted with an audience type or geography. There is no homogeneous pool of consumers, but individuals with some common attributes. This brings to the fore the role of hyper-personalization.

Fourth, technology and automation can do nearly everything but not everything. Let us take online translation services for example. Honestly, we all have relied on an online translator- I have. However, I have always got a native speaker to validate the translation too. Google Translate cannot replace the human understanding of context, tone, grammar, verbiage when translating your advertisement or your website for that matter. Communication is creative, an idea, nuanced and you want to ensure it carries its soul & context across languages.

Last, borrow from the thesaurus carefully. Each synonym has a specific meaning and nuance, a simple swap may not cut ice.

Now, for the fun part, read on, have a hearty laugh at their expense (pun totally intended):

Pepsi: Digs its grave

Pepsi launched the “Pepsi Brings you Back to Life” campaign in Taiwan with a literal translation of “Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave.”

HSBC: Lost in translation

In 2009, HSBC’s campaign “Assume Nothing” was interpreted as “Do Nothing” in several countries. It cost them ~$10 million to correct this mistake and arrive at “The world’s private bank”.

General Motors: No Go

General Motors’ small car “Nova”, read as no-va in Italian and Spanish meant “don’t go”. Eventually the name was changed to Corsa

Coors: Not easy to stomach

American brewing company, Coors entered the Spanish market, with its cool “Turn It Loose” slogan which translated into “Suffer from diarrhea”.

Green Giant: Eats its words

The frozen and canned food company’s “The Jolly Green Giant” translated to “Intimidating Green Ogre” in Arabic.

Braniff International Airways (now American Airlines): Takes the path less chosen

In 1987, America’s Braniff Airlines “Fly in leather” slogan was translated to Spanish as “Vuela en cuero” meaning “Fly naked”

Mitsubishi: Shifts Gears

Mitsubushi launched the rover vehicle “Pajero 4WD” in Spain. Only “pajero” means “jerk” in Spain. Later the car was rechristened to Mitsubishi “Montero”

Traficante: What were they smoking?

The Italian mineral water company Traficante promoted their water in Spain where “traficante” means “drug dealer”

Kentucky Fried Chicken: Burns their fingers

KFC’s first store in China discovered that “finger lickin’ good” translated to “eat your fingers off” in the market.

Schweppes: Flushed

In Italy Schweppes “tonic water” read “toilet water”

Kia Motors: Devil is in the details

Kia Motors launched Besta Van in Brazil. In Portuguese though, Besta means demon.

Taco Bell: Dumbbell

Back in 2015, Taco Bell’s Japanese website had some unappetizing translations “Cheesy chips” was “Low quality chips” and “Crunchwrap Supreme–beef” became “Supreme Court Beef” and the phrase “We’ve got nothing to hide” read “What did we bring here to hide it?”.

Salem Cigarettes: No smoke, No Fire

RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company’s brand-Salem was best known for industry’s first filter-tipped menthol cigarettes. In Japan however “Salem – Feeling Free” slogan got popular for its translation, “When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty.”

McDonalds: Excuse their French

When McDonald’s first brought its signature Big Mac to France, it was translated to “Gros Mec”, which read as “Big Pimp“.

American Motors: Goes for the Kill

Matador, American Motors car that stood for bravery and strength, when translated in Spanish meant “Killer”.

Donald Trump: Lame Duck

Why should politics be any different? Donald Trump tried to win the approval of the American Hispanic community, by using the slogan “Hispanics Para Trump”. Although in Spanish that just does not sound right. Not only should Hispanics be Hispanos but given the context it should be con not para. So much for Spanish being the second most widely spoken language in USA.

Frank Perdue: Gets Personal

Frank Purdue’s chicken producing company got a little to over-familiar for comfort in the Spanish market with its translation of “It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken” to “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate”.

Clairol: Bad hair day

Germans didn’t take well to Clairol’s “Mist Stick” curling iron. “Mist” being slang for manure, meant crappy uptake and a bad hair day some.

Hunt-Wesson: Knock-out

Some errors might not hurt sales just brand perception. Hunt Wesson’s baked beans was introduced in French Canada as “Gros Jos“, the slang for “big breasts“. That’s a knock-out!

Parker Pens: Slip of the Pen

What is the difference between embarrass and ‘embrazar’ (to impregnate)? Parker Pens should know that one by heart now, especially after ‘It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you’ ad read ‘It won’t leak in your pocket and impregnate you” in Mexico. That’s embarrassing!

Vicks: In a ‘F’ix

What happens when V is pronounced as F in a language? That’s what happened to Vicks Vapo Rub in Germany. Oh Fick’s!

American Dairy Association: Nip Slip

How do you think Latinos reacted to the slogan “Are you lactating?”. American Dairy was just translating their very successful slogan “Got Milk?”

Colgate: Does a Savita Bhabhi

Colgate’s Cue toothpaste was launched in France, only to realise a namesake of the brand in a pornographic magazine.

Ford: What’s the word?

Here is why thesaurus can let you down. Auto giant Ford went from “Every car has a high-quality body” to “Every car has a high-quality corpse” in Belgium. Not quite the communication they planned for

Ford: pulls a boner

They did it again. This time in Brazil with Pinto. Pinto is Brazilian slang for “Tiny male genitals”.

Bacardi: Monkey business

Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name “Pavian” to suggest French chic. In German though it was a different ball game-“baboon”.

Kinki Nippon Tourist Company: What’s in a name?

Why should Japan’s second-largest tourist agency be surprised if it gets unusual sex tour requests from English speaking markets?

Sharwoods: Got it A**wise

Sharwoods launched their ‘Deliciously Rich’ range of sauces in 2003, based on a traditional Northern Indian style of cooking, they adopted the name of ‘Bundh’ to promote them. “bundh” in Punjabi has a much less appetising meaning, literally meaning ‘arse’.

Honda: One track mind

The Honda Jazz known as ‘Fit’ in Japan, China and the Americas, was originally released as the ‘Fitta’. Turned out in Nordic languages this was a crass slang term for the female genitalia.

Sega: Play into the hands of words

Game console and software developer, Sega, were unaware of what Sega meant in Italy. Well, at least they gave teenage boys the chance to play with themselves, because that’s exactly what it translates to.

Panasonic: Didn’t speak the language

In 90’s Japanese company Panasonic were developing touch-screen technology. They introduced a mascot, Woody Woodpecker, with much success. To accompany it, there was a tagline which read: ‘Touch Woody – The Internet Pecker’. I rest my case. Thankfully it was changed to “Woody Touch Screen”

Budweiser : Gender Bender

‘King of Beers’ became ‘Queen of Beers’ in Spanish because the Spanish word for beer, ‘cerveza,’ has a feminine ending”

Volkswagen: Rides on its luck

Jetta, Volkswagen sedan, did not run out luck in Italy despite its lingual context. Italian alphabets do not have a “J” so Jetta is pronounced as “letta” which means misfortune.

American T-shirt designer: In need of a Grammar Nazi

When you have the Pope visiting Spain you dawn t-shirts especially printed for the occasion. However, if your t-shirt from a brand that does not know English here is what they meant vs what they wrote “I saw the Pope” (el Papa) vs “I saw the potato” (la papa).

Toyota: a turn off

Toyota’s Fiera car proved controversial in Puerto Rico, where ‘fiera’ translates to ‘ugly old woman’.

Paxam: Needs to clean up their act

Paxam an Iranian company mistranslated their laundry soap known as “snow” in Farsi to “barf” detergent for the English market.

Changan Automobiles: S** drive

The Chinese automobile company entered Brazil as Chana Motors. Phonetically, it sounded like the slang for a woman’s sexual organ.

Israeli Radio: advocates toxic relationship

When Israeli radio translated an ad for a dating company from Hebrew to English the word “intimi” (meaning intimate) in its title, became “Intimidate Dating Service”

Rolls-Royce: stinks

Not many Germans were enthusiastic about owning Rolls-Royce’s ‘Silver Animal Droppings’ car otherwise better known as ‘Silver Mist’ in the English market

Electrolux: takes a ‘pun’t

Translating into English is no mean feat either, ask Swedish vacuum manufacturer Electrolux. “Nothing sucks like Electrolux”, edgy or erroneous?

Mercedes-Benz: end of the road for some

Chinese market was a little hesitant with the label of Benzi, with its suicidal meaning “rush to die”

Nokia: talks dirty

In 2011, Nokia, released the ‘Lumia’ smartphone to great acclaim. However, they neglected to check what ‘Lumia’ means in Spanish… turns out it means ‘prostitute’.