15 Ideas to Reduce Traffic Jam


Traffic Jam

We 20Mn+ Delhites, please allow me the luxury to extend the definition to lesser mortals of NCR too, are proud owners of 8.9Mn vehicles. Vehicles, that ply on roads clogged by traffic. Traffic, that belongs to it and some that doesn’t: Pedestrians, Strays, Hawkers, Pavement houses, Construction, Dumpsters, Unammned check posts, Broken down trucks, Trees for shrines. Traffic powered by machine, humans and animals.

Oh, am otherwise in awe of the wide, and the very rare experience of, uninterrupted roads of Delhi. To chance upon the later, is a fairy tale. We are often blamed for Indian Stretchable Time. Truth be told, it’s not of volition. Waddling through traffic and the harrowing task to find a parking is no small feat. I recollect leaving my car to be towed for lack of both a parking spot & time to reach the interview with Microsoft at Cyber City, Gurgaon. An ocean of offices swamped with an ever increasing school of employees and of course, negligible parking. The other time I did find parking in the bylanes, my patrician stilettoes gave up on the cobbled dusty track. Then there is, carpeting, to save you from the embarrassment of grating heels.

Life goes on, at the rate of 4 hours of daily commute to and fro work, since. Am no exception. Those who live in spitting distance are not better off either. Well, I say that because they spend inordinate time covering a short distance. This regular life of mine is often interrupted, by the likes of wedding season. 20,000 weddings on a single day! While it might tell you the obvious, about the exploding traffic and potential mating population, I am perplexed to know that there are so many eligible men out there! Who are these people? Where are their watering holes? How come ‘I’ have not spotted these unicorns! Then we have festivals, VIPs, maintenance, construction stalemate and religion. Be warned Kanvarias and Chhat puja can dent you! Speaking of dents, virgin cars in Delhi are a myth.

In my ranting thus far I have not spoken about anything you did not know. Although, I may have been able to evoke empathy, by stating the obvious. Doing so was not the intention but admittedly is quite charming of me.

This write-up could have well been about air pollution due to traffic but then healthy lungs, chirping birds and green earth move few to action. Selfishness, can and does. Let us pivot this around us; our comfort, time, money & life. Now we should be better prepared to lend an ear and a thought.

It is also easier & natural to expect, after all we pay taxes; we elect. We have paid for infrastructure development, salaries of cops and waivers for violations. We should have better roads, faster construction, improved connectivity, flawless enforcement of traffic rules, pavements for cyclists, overhead bridges, shelters for the homeless, sheds for the stray and Santa Claus.

There are things “they” , the other partridges, can do. Lane driving, abide by signal, respect distance & your vehicle, be less ear-splitting, get that black hose of hell fixed, give way to the emergency siren, to start with. I am sure you have your asks.

Then there are some things we can do. Of course we do them already; not give into road rage & profanity, acknowledge our mistake, time our travel- but then again there are no off-peak hours I know of anymore.

Also, there are real solutions that do not require investments or infrastructure. Some solutions dangle the carrot, some whip the stick, others, do neither.

Here are the 15 Ideas that I can think of to reduce traffic and save you some money, time & life: 

A Case for Car Pooling

A Case for Car Pooling

Car Pool

This can be done informally at an individual level, formally by large organizations and monetized by 3rd part technology solution providers via apps. Carpooling, Letsride & Pool Circle

Shared Taxi Service

Why can’t the radio taxis not add a feature of multiple pick-ups and drops on the same route. Some will take it, few every day, others will cringe. Here is how UberPool works.

Single Passenger Hours

Disallow single passenger vehicles to ply during certain hours. If not disallow, make it prohibitively expensive.

Cap cars/person

Increase tax liability, charge higher registration, higher loan rates for second car. And the whip cracks!

Dangle the Public Transport carrot

Income Tax relief. Student concession. Loyalty cards. Reward points for Metro kms.

Meter the Autos!

Create an economical option for people to use. If autos charge this steeply & arbitrarily, I might as well buy my Nano.

Technology at help: Automated real time heat map

Spot the congestion, avoid it like plague. No need for twitter and radio updates, most of which are awfully incorrect.

Shared transfers

Hotspots like offices, marketplaces, theatres, parks can have shared transfers at standardized rates that ply frequently. Metro being the hub, hotspots the spokes.

Promote Work from Anywhere

Why incent individuals alone when you can influence the culture they work in. Reward companies where employees enjoy a work from home.

Do telemarketers need to be in office?

Use collaborative workspaces to plug and well, play.

Flexible work hours

Let the cogs decide the hours that work for them. The company and the manager should care for the output.

Company transport

Facilitate busses and cabs. Charge them if required, but nominally.

Car Pooling Alliance

If there can be coopetition why can’t offices in the same zone or building come together. This serves as company transport with centralized security and logistics. Small businesses benefit! Win-Win.

Preferred housing

Allocate preferred societies for employees to stay at. Give them a reason to live there; benefits. Membership to gym, compensation component, schooling for children, doctor on call, Life balance. High density of employees in an area = economical and efficient shuttle service.

Be Draconian:

Allocate days when odd and even registration number plates cannot ply.

Don’t turn right on the green light.

A lot amongst these ideas may need organizational or policy level support. A few are fledgling, others growing wings. Then, there are those you can excuse as a thing of my late evening, hyperactive imagination. What I hope though is that it leaves you with food for thought and me with a comment on how you think we can solve for traffic congestion.

Spoken Word: Jugalbandi of Words and Art


Love of poetry and storytelling made me stop flipping radio stations and listen to “The deck of cards” by Tex Williams;

Experiencing a Haruki Murakami moment “Whatever it is you are seeking won’t come in the form you are expecting.” I  discovered a form of art, Spoken Word.

An estuary of narrative and music for the soul.

A confluence of words and performing art, dance and theatre.

All this, over a banal trip, ridden with gnarling Delhi traffic, browsing through FM channels indifferently, driving back across 3 states from work.

I was in the throes of a scripturient urge to celebrate my finding. The drive seemed longer than usual, there was so much to do; quench my curiosity by reading more, attend to a deluge of examples, listen to new finds and compile a playlist. Most of this though, was curtailed to the luxury of late evenings that afforded time for myself.

Political motivations, social causes, religious discourses, leadership speak, life experiences, stories, folklore and many more expressions have found themselves in this experimental art form. Examples of which will follow.

SunscreenAre you lonesome tonight, Yeh kahan aa gaye hum, have been all time favorites, only today I  know better, I can flaunt the genre of music they belong to and discover more such gems.

Here is a playlist

  1. Baz Luhrmann: Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
  2. Johnny Cash: What Is Truth
  3. James Brown: King Heroin
  4. The Shangri-Las: Past, Present and Future
  5. Tex Ritter: A Deck of Cards
  6. Elvis Presley: Are you Lonesome Tonight
  7. William S. Burroughs and Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy: Words of Advice
  8. National Lampoon – Deteriorata
  9. Kenny Rogers: Coward of the County
  10. Dolly Parton & Kelly Rogers: We got tonight
  11. Gil Scott-Heron: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
  12. John Cooper Clarke – Evidently Chickentown
  13. Jim Morrison: A Feast Of Friends
  14. Material: Seven Souls
  15. Jim Backus & Friend: Delicious
  16. Laurie Anderson: O Superman
  17. Jimmy Dean: Big Bad John
  18. Paul Hardcastle: 19
  19. Maya Angelou: Ain’t I a woman
  20. A Life Story: Look at yourself after watching
  21. John Cooper Clarke: Beasley Street
  22. Slint: Good Morning
  23. Prince Buster: Judge Dread
  24. Talking Heads: Seen and Not Seen
  25. Ballboy: A Day in Space
  26. Ballboy: I hate Scotland
  27. Ivor Cutler: Life in a Scotch Sitting Room- Check out the entire series
  28. The Velvet Underground: The Murder Mystery
  29. Abba: I have a Dream
  30. Loudon Wainwright III: History
  31. Buddy Starcher: History Repeats Itself
  32. Jimmy Dean: Big Bad John
  33. Byron MacGregor: The Americans
  34. Victor Lundberg:  An Open Letter to My Teenage Son
  35. Obama: Yes We Can

There are several songs with parts in spoken word. Explore the musicians in the list. Drop in a comment if you like any of these or have suggestions.

Coming up: A playlist for Hindi spoken word songs. Stay Tuned!

Office Vocab: For the Meeting Magnate


A never ending slew of meetings, hopping from one discussion to another, rooster calls, tap on the shoulder-conversations, arbitrary one-minuters,  trainings, beeping reminders, conflicting calendars, overflowing schedules and endless brainstorming sessions. If this sounds familiar, snatch a minute, read and humor yourself with these 30 Meeting Jargons, most which will be familiar territory.

Dilbert Meeting Humor

  1. Air it out: Discuss it openly and sort it out.
  2. Arrows to fire: all the ‘pointed’ arguments that make your quiver and your case.
  3. Babylonian orgy: They port you to an exotic destination, trap you in a conference room and inundate you with presentations until you drop dead bored in bed.
  4. Birdtable: Yes it is yet another meeting, one called to meet and discuss an issue before assigning tasks. Pre-meeting!
  5. Blamestorming: Meeting to find a scapegoat for the failure.
  6. Boot camp: A company training program.
  7. Brain dump: brain storming!
  8. Brown Bag: A seminar or training scheduled during lunch break.
  9. Burn grass: To sit down as a group and discuss. Yes you sometimes wonder what they are smoking, too!
  10. Charm school: A derogatory term for new manager training.
  11. Chinese fire drill: A project or meeting that is characterized by frantic confusion and chaos.
  12. Commonplate: To present a topic for consideration, so that all members of a group have the same information.
  13. Cone of Silence: Indicates a private, confidential conversation.
  14. Counterposing: When ground-level staff outwit management by using more jargon, more pointless questions, and more vague commitments than their superiors.
  15. Delegut: That conference delegate whose sole contribution seems to be that of demolishing the lunch buffet and gulping liquor.
  16. Diagonal slice meeting: A large meeting involving staff from several teams.
  17. Dog and pony show: An overly staged presentation that has more style than substance.
  18. Facipulate: A mix of ‘facilitate’ and ‘manipulate’, it refers to influencing the course of a discussion by indirectly promoting certain lines of thought.
  19. Goat rodeo: an embarrassing/chaotic meeting
  20. Grip and grin: Obligatory hand shaking and fake smiles before a meeting. exchanging pleasantries.
  21. Hammer out: To reach a consensus after a long debate.
  22. Meeting assassin: Someone who hijacks a meeting with excessive questions or endless follow-on observations. You need to be a ninja.
  23. Prethink: Discussing an idea or proposal with a smaller group before broader delivery.
  24. Robust dialog: A productive conversation between co-workers involving open, honest discussion.
  25. Rooster call: Those unearthly early morning meetings.
  26. Sidebar: A whispered conversation between co-workers during a meeting or presentation.
  27. The Potpourri Round: the set of short topics at the end of a meeting that do not necessarily fit with a meeting’s purpose or objectives.
  28. Three-martini lunch: A business meal with multiple alcoholic drinks.
  29. Wallpaper a meeting: To fill a conference room with people that agree with your position.
  30. White smoke meeting: Marks the point when a client approves a big contract.

Time to attend to the calendar tickler! Gotta go 🙂

Dilbert Meeting Humor